Artemis Fowl

Maybe everything I loved as a child is secretly terrible. With the only book series I adored that was turned into functionally watchable cinema being written by a TERF and a bigot, I’m now left to relive one of the great pains of my childhood, something I had long thought I had moved past. The…

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Bad Education (2020)

“It’s not perfect, but it works.” This line from Dr. Frank Tassone (Hugh Jackman) about halfway through the film builds the central contradiction that propels Cory Finley’s Bad Education like a rocket duct-taped to the bottom of a cheap skateboard. The polish and cold finesse of Finley’s previous film, Thoroughbreds, is noticeably missing here, trading…

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Extraction (2020)

From its 15 minutes of credits to its refusal to acknowledge its place in the “white guy blows an Asian country to smithereens” canon to its title so generic that I had to stop the movie three times to check what it was called, Extraction is one of those movies that is brainless without malice…

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Sonic the Hedgehog

When you’re young, you latch yourself to whatever properties you can. No matter what, you’re searching for an identity, and most young people grasp onto their personalities wherever they can find it. It’s not hard to see why a lot of young people, myself included, found such an identity in the Sonic the Hedgehog games,…

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The Photograph

There’s something so comforting about walking into a theater and walking out of it two hours later with the exact same head on your shoulders. These films that deliberately avoid the destruction and reconstruction of the soul that comes from great art, instead focusing on a simple reiteration of what one comes to expect from…

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Invisible Life

If you can only see one 2019 period piece foreign film about the connection between two women constantly being battered by patriarchal expectations that features a portrait of a lady that happens to be on fire…well, you should still watch Portrait of a Lady on Fire, but I highly doubt there will be another one…

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The Best of the 2010s – Davey

11-25 are listed alphabetically 20th Century Women Anomalisa The Babadook Calvary Cold War Columbus La La Land Little Women Madeline’s Madeline Parasite The Perks of Being a Wallflower Short Term 12 The Social Network Whiplash Your Name 10. Marriage Story Acted with gusto, crafted with precision, and so heartbreakingly honest that all pretense of cinema…

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Little Women

There are a few things that need to be addressed when talking about Little Women (2019). For starters, the fears brought up by yet another adaptation of an uppity 19th century novel that’s been immortalized countless times in countless films are valid, there’s truly little cultural capital gained by telling the same stories over and…

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1917

At the end of Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian, the characters lament that their world-saving victory will be unknown by the masses. Ben Stiller replies in a close-up, “we’ll know.” Something about that moment always stayed with me, and I still think about it ten years later (no, my ‘best of 2009’…

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Frozen II

Frozen II is an exceptionally weird movie, angrily wrestling the title of “weirdest modern Disney film” from Ralph Breaks the Internet before that movie could even get comfortable with its new crown. That doesn’t mean it’s a good movie, because it’s hard to tell, but it is a very interesting one, filled with a lot…

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